Blog Post 13: Thank You and The End

This has been my busiest semester at Loyola. I have a schedule of 18 hours and have served on the editorial board of The Maroon all semester long as the Chief Copy Editor.  Also gone are the careless days of previous collegiate years when I could drop a class if I wasn’t doing particularly well or even if I just felt overwhelmed. But this last year, I NEED every class I’m in so that I can successfully walk across the stage in May. Needless to say, the pressure has been on this semester.  And I actually have really enjoyed the process of blogging during it. I have found it very therapeutic at times to be able to write about whatever is stressing me out that week or just a question that has been lingering in my mind for a while. Writing it out (and receiving thoughtful responses) has helped to keep the craziness of my last year of college in check. It has also been a great way for me to explore even further something we discussed in class that personally truly intrigued me.

I have also really enjoyed doing a small weekly writing assignment as opposed to a huge one during finals. I don’t know what I would do right now if I had to add one more final paper onto my finals to-do list. The experience of blogging for Ignatius Loyola has been a great one. I appreciate the few peaceful moments of perspective it has allowed me each week. I also REALLY appreciate the thoughtful responses you, Father Ted, have taken time each week to write. Blogging may not be for everyone, so keeping it a personal choice is fine, but I would highly recommend the experience to any of your future students. Thanks for a great, insightful semester! 

Blog 12: Wrapping Up and Keeping the Faith

(Since I'll be doing an essay on the Jesuit education bit I chose a little something different for my blog)

Not only is the semester wrapping up for me, but the end of my time at Loyola is nearing all too soon. I remember all of it as if it had just happened. My first trip to New Orleans, passing Loyola on the streetcar for the first time, touring the campus. And then when I had decided it was the school for me, packing up my room and driving 10 hours with all of my belongings, staying at the Intercontinental with my mom until I could move in to Buddig Hall. I went to the opening mass in Holy Name with my roommate and after we took a "Class of 2012" picture in the Marquette Horseshoe, (I'm in the white). The only thing I was worried about then was if I would survive college and if i would make good friends. I'm very close to being able to say I did, indeed, survive college, and make some lifelong friends in the process, (hope I didn't just jinx that). But recently my mind has begun to turn to new worries about the next stage of my life. Will I find a job? Where will I live? Will I make enough money to support myself and pay back my student loans? Will I learn how to file taxes? Will I get married soon?

I was excited and terrified at the same time when I came to college. A whole world of new opportunities but also knowing that I was leaving the comfort of my high school home, and the certainty of my old everyday life. I feel the exact same way 4 years later, as I prepare to leave Loyola and the world of college, behind. But if there is anything I learned from my experience as a scared and nervous freshman entering Loyola, it's that you just have to have a little faith that things will work out. So as I become a freshman again, in the school of life, I'll keep the faith.

Week 11 Blog Post: The Spiritual Exercises in Pictures

Let me start by saying I didn't realize how tough this option would be. I put a good amount of thought and time into looking for these pictures, this post actually took me longer than any of the other ones. In the end here is what I came up with. 

For Week 1, where there is a lot of contemplation on one's own sins, I wanted to show someone in thought. This man is clearly in deep thought and has a bit of a troubled look about him, as most people would while in such deep contemplation over sin. 

 Week 2 has a battleground theme, a battle between good and evil, a battle between God and the Devil for 

your soul, so I decided to show a medieval battleground complete with standards. 

This image depicts a man sharing in Jesus' suffering, and ultimately that is 

the theme of Week 3, contemplating the Passion and taking part in Jesus the Man's suffering.

This is a picture of the Heart Reef, a part of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Week 4 is about God's love and being atoned back to God. It is also about love being expressed in ways other than words, and like I talked about in my Week 10 post, I think God speaks and expresses his love to us through nature. Here is a perfect example that he does.

Photos from:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mattnstuff/5342841304/

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/4500390/ns/today-entertainment/t/has-passion-caused-miracles/#.TroRa0Oa_XE

http://www.wayfaring.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/aerial_of_heart-shaped_reef__hardy_reef__near_whitsunday_islands__queensland__australia.jpg

http://www.getting-medieval.com/my_weblog/2007/10/battle-of-aginc.html

Week 10 Blog Post: Divine Moments

I feel that I have been very fortunate in my life to experience many soul-stirring moments that leave me without a doubt God is real and he is a wonderful God and his is my God. I'm having some difficulty thinking of an exact memory that I could describe, but I know I've had them, without a question in my mind. Sometimes it has just been sitting outside on the porch of a beach house by myself at night, or going on a walk at Audubon Park and sitting on a bench by the pond. Most all of my moment's have been outside,while looking at God's beautiful creation that may be a beach or a lake or even just lovely wide open field with a few horses walking around in it. The moments usually come after a talk with someone or a few days of great thought, but at others times they have just come out of nowhere. I just have a great feeling of peace and happiness within me, a feeling of complete elation and harmony, and the immense stirring of feelings in my soul usually brings me to tears. During these times of elation, I don't have anxiety or questions constantly running through my head and I seriously feel as though God is sitting next to me, holding my hand. These are some of the most amazing experiences in my life, and I truly feel as though I've had them because I am open to them. I want to see God in his creations and I believe he can speak to me through them. If you aren't open to these kind of experiences, I don't believe they will come as easily. My seeking out moments of appreciation for life and harmony is something else I learned from my hero, my grandmother.

A picture of my grandmother and I on my 20th birthday. 

Week 9 Blog Post: What is the One? And my Heroes.

Some pictures from the wedding! My boyfriend John, is a Loyola graduate from '09 and now a 1st Lieutenant  in the Army. This is us before the wedding with his father's vintage DeSoto. It's the car the bride and groom took from St. Paul's Catholic Church in Lexington to the reception.

I don't think anybody grows up in the perfect household, with their parents setting an example of a perfect marriage. There is no such thing as perfect, since as humans we are all flawed, and therefore there is no "perfect" relationship. But what is it that makes a relationship last?  Now not many couples make it until "Death do us part" part of a relationship. But how many people walk down the aisle, look each other in the eyes and don't mean those words as they say them? Nobody who marries also plans on getting divorced, so why is it that between 40 and 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce? (divorcestatistics.org) I honestly have no answer for this, and attending my boyfriend's sisters wedding a couple of weekends ago didn't have a huge impact on me. I didn't feel any movement within my soul that left me with some type of divine wisdom to a happy, long marriage. So I am asking you, Father Ted, perhaps you have some type of knowledge to this. After marrying many couples and I'm sure counseling a few, do you think you have an idea of what keeps people together?

Since that wasn't long enough for a blog post I will talk a little about my personal hero. My hero is my grandmother. I have never met someone with as much optimism and love as her. She is always sunny and happy to meet and talk to anyone. Even in her older age, dealing with congestive heart failure, she never stops  trying to make others happy. She also has so much faith in God and never quits praising him, no matter what may be going on in life. She is strong, but she doesn't do it all on her own, it is because of her faith. If I can live my life half with as much happiness, optimism and faith as her, I will know I've led a great life.                                                                                      

Week 8 Blog Post: Discerning my Gifts

Why is it that focusing on your faults is so much easier than applauding yourself for your strengths and gifts? Oftentimes, I am extremely hard on myself and focus ONLY on my faults; selfishness, greed, vanity, etc. I could go on and on about my faults. Doing this can get me feeling very down on myself, so it is nice when either I remind myself or someone else reminds me of my many gifts.

One of my unique strengths, that I cherish the most, is my love of public speaking and communicating with people. While the thought of public speaking terrifies most; I actually love it and thrive on the energy and adrenaline rush I get from it. Most people are scared out of their minds at the proposition of public speaking yet I enthusiastically welcome it. I love this about myself and believe it will continue to be a great benefit to me in life.

Also since I was young, I have also been applauded for being well dictated. I am very capable of holding fabulous conversations, even among respected people much older than me. I am warm, genuine, and capable of holding my own in large social settings. Just this past weekend I was introduced to the First Lady of Kentucky at a wedding party, she told me she had already heard all about me and my grace, charm, and social qualities. We had a lovely conversation after which she introduced me to her husband, Governor Beshear. The art of conversation, even among very formidable people, is a gift of mine that I cherish and thank God for constantly. I love the fact that I am capable of having genuine and intriguing conversations with people of any age, race, or social background. It is a gift that has allowed me to meet and learn from many interesting people throughout my life, and hopefully I've left a little bit of an impact of my own on those I've been fortunate enough to converse with.

Week 7 Blog Post

Today, on Monday, 2 days after the wedding (this is my one free late pass i’m using here by the way) I am wondering at how I did not really feel stirred to any particular emotion towards love or marriage during the wedding. Perhaps it was because I was sitting towards the back of a church full of nearly 500 people, or because I was sitting by my boyfriend’s roommate who was cracking jokes the whole time or maybe just the long ceremony with very traditional vows. Either way I won’t be racing towards the altar anytime soon.

I’ve decided to answer the question about indifference and balance, which I must admit, are two things that do not come easily to me in my life. My own addictions and false gods are definitely the common ones: money, status, power, living a fabulous life. I am definitely drawn the finer side of life, and it takes a lot for me to focus on what really matters. Not to say that is all I’m focused on, I adore my family and friends and other relationships (including my relationship with God) but it is easy to lose sight of the fact that life is fleeting and you can’t take your material possessions with you. To battle my greed, I try to distinguish between wants and needs and give to others whenever possible. I realize this is probably my worst blog post yet and I apologize but my brain is fried from this weekend. It was basically a 3-day wedding extravaganza with a true New Orleans family and I am still trying to take it all in. Next week however, once it has all had a chance to sink in, I will try to readdress my stance on love and marriage. 

Week 6 Post: True Love

How do you know when someone is The One?

I was at a little bit of a loss about what to write about for my week 6 blog post.  I enjoyed the email that you sent out with suggestions for this week’s blog posting, but nothing in it really, truly jumped out and spoke to me. So while I was thinking about how I had nothing to write about, something suddenly came to me. I’m attending my boyfriend’s sisters wedding in Kentucky over fall break and I thought, why not reflect on love and marriage.  My boyfriend and I recently started dating and although I have no intentions of getting married any time soon, we both know that this relationship has serious potential. It’s the only serious relationship I’ve ever had. Also every time I turn around lately, somebody else seems to be engaged. My best friend’s 23-yr old sister (I just turned 22 in September!) just became engaged during a trip to Costa Rica last week. So this issue of engagement and marriage has become very prevalent in my life lately.

I was about 11 when my parent’s divorced. I didn’t grow up in a happy household, with a wonderful example of a loving, committed relationship. It was almost a relief when my parent’s divorced and as the oldest of 4 children, I was probably the most deeply affected. As a teenager, I was extremely skeptical of relationships and true love; I still am to this day. Now, seeing so many people, SO close to my age getting married (it honestly freaks me out), I am starting to wonder how to address all the questions I have about love and marriage, since they weren’t really answered for me when I was younger.

How do you know you are so in love that you can spend the rest of your life with someone? How do you know the person you are with is THE one, or that they aren’t, and there is someone else out there you are meant to marry?

I will be honest; I am quite tired this week and am going to leave the rest of this question to be answered in my post after the wedding. Perhaps I will have some moment of constellation at the wedding and will be able to come upon my answers to theses very big questions easily. Hopefully I will even have some pictures to post! 

Thoughts on Guest Lecturers

In lieu of this week’s emailed questions, I am going to talk about our recent guest speakers, Father Wildes and Sylvester Tan, S.J., and my impressions of them and the impact their words had on me. 

What struck me most about Father Wildes is how normal and human-like he was. Now obviously he is human, but how I feel about many priests (and I don't think a lot of people would disagree with me on this) is that they seem to the rest of the world to be very noble and perfect, simply because of their place in the Church and their relationship with God. I believe it is simply an image that the rest of us create in our head about those who have dedicated their life to the service of God, the Church and the rest of humanity. Father Wildes even alluded to this a little bit when he spoke about growing up around priests; they had always been normal humans to him and not untouchable, intimidating people. I'm not sure how well I am explaining myself, but I have just always felt something very intimidating about those who are very high up in the Church. Anyhow, Father Wildes was just a very easy-going, relaxed and fun-to-talk-to person, completely the opposite of a stuffy priest. I have even commented to my friends that he even sweared while speaking to us! It was just a very nice change of pace to have the president of my university conversing so easily with a class of college students. It was also very nice of him to make the time for us and I sincerely enjoyed his visit.

As for Sylvester Tan, I found that I quite identified with his experiences growing up; a few things he said even made me feel as though he were talking directly to me. He spoke of always being concerned with having more; more money, more power, and more recognition and of being attached to material things. I know many people struggle with this, but I can definitely identify. He also said that he always felt God was calling him to do something else, but he didn’t want to address the situation while in college so he just told himself he could live now and deal with it later. Some nights at the Boot, I’ve often had this same attitude; “I will live now and make things right with God later,” I’ve thought. His words definitely had an impact on me and have forced me to think a bit more critically about my life in the past few days.

Overall I really, really enjoyed the guest speakers and felt God was trying to say something to me through them, though right now I’m praying that God helps me successfully make it through this exam tomorrow. 

There is evil in this world.

Like I said in last week’s blog, I am going to address my view on evil spirits in the world. Now, I don’t believe that demons roam the earth causing terror and destruction, yet I do believe in evil. Perhaps I don’t believe in evil demons because I am scared and wouldn’t sleep as well at night if I imagined demons roaming around. However the presence of evil, and the devil in the world, in my opinion, is undeniable. There are so many horrific things in this world, how can it all be explained other than Satan’s presence? Why else would 2 planes, hijacked with crazed terrorists hell-bent on killing innocent Americans, have crashed into the two World Trade Center towers? Why else do innocent children suffer at the hands of cruel parents or child molesters? There is just too much terror in this world and for me to be able to sleep at night, I have to believe that it can be blamed on pure evil.

Now it may seem that there is no upside to a world full of evil, but to me, the presence of evil in the world also proves the presence of God, who delivers us from evil. Heros like Welles Crowther are proof of God’s existence and God’s ultimate good plan for mankind. There may be horrific suffering in this world, but as we have seen, there is also unbelievable heroicism and mercy at the hands of the Father. My approach may not be the most theological, but it is what helps me to keep my faith in this oft-terrifying world. 

Response to "Man in the Red Bandana"

First off let me say that I am one of those people who sees footage from 9-11 and all of the memories of that horrific day still come flooding back. I remember finding out at school, and sitting on the floor of my 6^th grade choir room, watching the events of that morning unfold. Later I sat in my grandparent’s living room and watched news updates all afternoon and into the evening. Even though I was thousands of miles away in Texas when it happened, and have still never even been to New York, things like “Man in the Red Bandana” still bring me to tears, ten years later and I did in fact, have very wet eyes watching it that day in class.

Now, if I were to write in this blog that I would have had the courage to do what Crowther did that day, I would be flat out lying, and that would be dishonorable to the brave men and women who died that day.  The truth is that if I had been on one of the top floors of the World Trade Center, had I been able to bring myself out of hysterics, I would have run for my life down the stairs and hopefully to safety. I have often made my blood run cold thinking about what horror the people in those doomed planes must have experienced, and also the people in those doomed towers. The images of people jumping to their deaths are haunting. People like Crowther humble me, because I know that I couldn’t have done what he did. They also make me believe that no matter how much evil is in this world (because I do believe in evil as I will talk about in next week’s blog) there is still a God, who gives us people like Welles Crowther to give us great hope in times of such despair. 

If I could live anywhere...

When I studied abroad in France last semester, I knew that I would learn a great deal about another country and another culture. However what I didn't expect was to learn so much about my own country and my own culture once I was so far removed from it. Yet I did, and after having lived in another country for 8 months I don't know that there is any other country in the world where I'd be more suited to live. 

Ignatius felt God was calling him to live in Jerusalem. He probably felt this because he knew he could be more devoted to the life work God had called him to in Jerusalem, far removed from his native Spain. After my time adjusting into a new language, culture and country, I don’t believe that I could do my life’s work better than here in the States. I still love traveling, learning and exploring new cultures and I always will, but I don’t believe God wants me to assimilate my life into a new country.

The American city where God has called me to live, work and raise a family someday has yet to be revealed to me, but I am so glad for the past 4 years God called me to live in the amazing city of New Orleans. I have learned so much about myself living here and attending Loyola. Perhaps he even has it in his plans for me to become a permanent citizen to NOLA, I just don’t believe he wants me to become an American expat. 

My First Blog

On why I enrolled in IL- I am not Catholic, I am Protestant, yet I was drawn to the Jesuit dynamic of Loyola. Finding God in all things, leaving a mark on the world, a strong emphasis on a well rounded education; all of these things attracted me to Loyola. Once at Loyola, I began hearing about a class, with a Father Dziak, about the life of Ignatius Loyola. I kept hearing how interesting it was and some people told me it was the best class they'd taken at Loyola. I also heard how hard it was to get in to as it usually had a waitlist soon after enrollment began. So last semester, from my French dorm room, I enrolled on LORA as soon as I could, not even knowing if I would be able to work it into my schedule but knowing I didn't have many chances left.

On what I hope to get out of IL- So the fall of my senior  year I am finally in a class I have heard about since freshman year and am determined and excited to take something valuable away from it. Someday, when people ask, why Loyola, why a Jesuit school? I want to be able to tell them about the founder of the Jesuits, and his life and his ideals, and how I found his spirit nurtured in me at Loyola. I mean really, how many universities have entire classes about that? How many universities care about forming the whole person, not just handing someone a diploma after four years. I want to know as much about Ignatius's life as I can and see how I can apply the way he lived to my own life. In addition to learning about Ignatius's life, I am looking forward to learning about my faith, myself and my university through the study of the life of an extraordinary man.