Week 9 Blog Post: What is the One? And my Heroes.

Some pictures from the wedding! My boyfriend John, is a Loyola graduate from '09 and now a 1st Lieutenant  in the Army. This is us before the wedding with his father's vintage DeSoto. It's the car the bride and groom took from St. Paul's Catholic Church in Lexington to the reception.

I don't think anybody grows up in the perfect household, with their parents setting an example of a perfect marriage. There is no such thing as perfect, since as humans we are all flawed, and therefore there is no "perfect" relationship. But what is it that makes a relationship last?  Now not many couples make it until "Death do us part" part of a relationship. But how many people walk down the aisle, look each other in the eyes and don't mean those words as they say them? Nobody who marries also plans on getting divorced, so why is it that between 40 and 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce? (divorcestatistics.org) I honestly have no answer for this, and attending my boyfriend's sisters wedding a couple of weekends ago didn't have a huge impact on me. I didn't feel any movement within my soul that left me with some type of divine wisdom to a happy, long marriage. So I am asking you, Father Ted, perhaps you have some type of knowledge to this. After marrying many couples and I'm sure counseling a few, do you think you have an idea of what keeps people together?

Since that wasn't long enough for a blog post I will talk a little about my personal hero. My hero is my grandmother. I have never met someone with as much optimism and love as her. She is always sunny and happy to meet and talk to anyone. Even in her older age, dealing with congestive heart failure, she never stops  trying to make others happy. She also has so much faith in God and never quits praising him, no matter what may be going on in life. She is strong, but she doesn't do it all on her own, it is because of her faith. If I can live my life half with as much happiness, optimism and faith as her, I will know I've led a great life.                                                                                      

Week 8 Blog Post: Discerning my Gifts

Why is it that focusing on your faults is so much easier than applauding yourself for your strengths and gifts? Oftentimes, I am extremely hard on myself and focus ONLY on my faults; selfishness, greed, vanity, etc. I could go on and on about my faults. Doing this can get me feeling very down on myself, so it is nice when either I remind myself or someone else reminds me of my many gifts.

One of my unique strengths, that I cherish the most, is my love of public speaking and communicating with people. While the thought of public speaking terrifies most; I actually love it and thrive on the energy and adrenaline rush I get from it. Most people are scared out of their minds at the proposition of public speaking yet I enthusiastically welcome it. I love this about myself and believe it will continue to be a great benefit to me in life.

Also since I was young, I have also been applauded for being well dictated. I am very capable of holding fabulous conversations, even among respected people much older than me. I am warm, genuine, and capable of holding my own in large social settings. Just this past weekend I was introduced to the First Lady of Kentucky at a wedding party, she told me she had already heard all about me and my grace, charm, and social qualities. We had a lovely conversation after which she introduced me to her husband, Governor Beshear. The art of conversation, even among very formidable people, is a gift of mine that I cherish and thank God for constantly. I love the fact that I am capable of having genuine and intriguing conversations with people of any age, race, or social background. It is a gift that has allowed me to meet and learn from many interesting people throughout my life, and hopefully I've left a little bit of an impact of my own on those I've been fortunate enough to converse with.

Week 7 Blog Post

Today, on Monday, 2 days after the wedding (this is my one free late pass i’m using here by the way) I am wondering at how I did not really feel stirred to any particular emotion towards love or marriage during the wedding. Perhaps it was because I was sitting towards the back of a church full of nearly 500 people, or because I was sitting by my boyfriend’s roommate who was cracking jokes the whole time or maybe just the long ceremony with very traditional vows. Either way I won’t be racing towards the altar anytime soon.

I’ve decided to answer the question about indifference and balance, which I must admit, are two things that do not come easily to me in my life. My own addictions and false gods are definitely the common ones: money, status, power, living a fabulous life. I am definitely drawn the finer side of life, and it takes a lot for me to focus on what really matters. Not to say that is all I’m focused on, I adore my family and friends and other relationships (including my relationship with God) but it is easy to lose sight of the fact that life is fleeting and you can’t take your material possessions with you. To battle my greed, I try to distinguish between wants and needs and give to others whenever possible. I realize this is probably my worst blog post yet and I apologize but my brain is fried from this weekend. It was basically a 3-day wedding extravaganza with a true New Orleans family and I am still trying to take it all in. Next week however, once it has all had a chance to sink in, I will try to readdress my stance on love and marriage. 

Week 6 Post: True Love

How do you know when someone is The One?

I was at a little bit of a loss about what to write about for my week 6 blog post.  I enjoyed the email that you sent out with suggestions for this week’s blog posting, but nothing in it really, truly jumped out and spoke to me. So while I was thinking about how I had nothing to write about, something suddenly came to me. I’m attending my boyfriend’s sisters wedding in Kentucky over fall break and I thought, why not reflect on love and marriage.  My boyfriend and I recently started dating and although I have no intentions of getting married any time soon, we both know that this relationship has serious potential. It’s the only serious relationship I’ve ever had. Also every time I turn around lately, somebody else seems to be engaged. My best friend’s 23-yr old sister (I just turned 22 in September!) just became engaged during a trip to Costa Rica last week. So this issue of engagement and marriage has become very prevalent in my life lately.

I was about 11 when my parent’s divorced. I didn’t grow up in a happy household, with a wonderful example of a loving, committed relationship. It was almost a relief when my parent’s divorced and as the oldest of 4 children, I was probably the most deeply affected. As a teenager, I was extremely skeptical of relationships and true love; I still am to this day. Now, seeing so many people, SO close to my age getting married (it honestly freaks me out), I am starting to wonder how to address all the questions I have about love and marriage, since they weren’t really answered for me when I was younger.

How do you know you are so in love that you can spend the rest of your life with someone? How do you know the person you are with is THE one, or that they aren’t, and there is someone else out there you are meant to marry?

I will be honest; I am quite tired this week and am going to leave the rest of this question to be answered in my post after the wedding. Perhaps I will have some moment of constellation at the wedding and will be able to come upon my answers to theses very big questions easily. Hopefully I will even have some pictures to post!